This post was originally published on MyBlackMatters. I was always told I was black. I was black, but not quite black enough or not black black but still black to say the least. I was told that in my life, I would have certain privileges. Privileges that darker women would not be able to acquire and I should be grateful for that. I should be happy that I would be more desired for receptionist jobs and I should be overjoyed that if a white boy happened to like me, I would be eligible for a seat at family dinner because I'm not black black, remember? I should appreciate the automatic assumptions that I am foreign, that if I have a weave it is my real hair, and that I'm way too narcissistic to give most boys the time of day.
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The lighter the shade, the higher the probability of marriage
She had a perfect hourglass figure, large clear eyes, a tiny waist, long slim hands, a killer sense of dress and smooth dark skin. The only trait I shared with her was her skin color. My mother always spoke of this with pride. It was a treasure to be kept whole through diligent care — applications of thick, pasty Eucerin lotion, which used to come in a tub, worked into the skin as it melted down and made everything smooth and shiny. My grandmother used the silkier Nivea instead — kept on the dresser in her all-white bedroom, applied throughout the day. The smell of it still reminds me of the elegance of her life. That dark skin was the most beautiful was the logic of my family.
Why dark-skinned black girls like me aren't getting married
As Kanye West reminded us a few days ago, colorism is alive and well. Race matters, even within communities of color. While West has since tried to walk back his tweet, this most recent controversy has reignited debates about skin tone, blackness and bias in communities of color. For those of us whose skin color is closer to a double shot cappuccino or darker, the latest indignity from Kanye West — himself a dark-skinned black man — is a painful reminder of the continuing degradation directed at dark-skinned black women and the rejection of black beauty.
I believe in temple marriage, and in the importance of those covenants. Nor was there a lack of compassion or respect. She was so sad over what she sacrificed it just haunted everyone on Reddit.
